Cause and effect

Over the last couple of months, I have tried various different types of methylphenidate XL. Initially starting on Xaggitin XL 18mg, then moving up to Concerta XL 27mg, and when that did not work and was causing severe side effects, I moved over to a different type of methylphenidate XL, Equasym XL 30mg capsules, which has a different form of modified release, starting on 20mg, and then moving up to 30mg.

Initially, I was very positive about Equasym XL 20mg. On the first day, I had a couple of side effects but nothing serious, and I had a couple of good days but then nothing. I wasn’t having any noticeable positives. I did my classes, and they went ok, but I didn’t feel much difference. I did a photographic job at Parliament on Thursday, and it went well, but there was no difference in how I felt. Of course, this was expected, because 20mg is a low dose.

On Friday, I went up to 30mg, and there was no real difference and no noticeable side effects. I was exhausted after the day in London, but that was just normal. Saturday, I thought I would play Astrometica for a couple of hours, building a space station. This was a terrible idea. There is a very good reason I avoid games like Minecraft, because I go into hyperfocus and can spend days building things. Now, a lot of people with ADHD will say positive things about hyperfocus with their brain running at 200% speed and being able to do 3 weeks of work in one day. The problem is you don’t eat, drink or do anything apart from concentrating on what you are doing, maybe a quick bathroom break, but then, straight back to the hyperfocus. The issue was not eating/drinking, which causes issues with side effects, and I got a mild buzzing feeling in my head.

Sunday, I rushed back to playing Astrometica, as I had made a slight mistake with my build and ended up having to completely re-make half the space station, which covered half of the map, and a mistake just isn’t allowed in my brain. The thing was, because of the previous day, I made sure that I did eat and drink and stopped myself at a certain time when I had fixed the issues and made various improvements. This meant that I could do some editing (I give myself 5 days to edit a project normally).

Fortunately, with a couple of issues converting the images, I managed to get them to the client, but unfortunately, the side effects were getting noticeably worse. With me not feeling up to going to the gym, and by Tuesday, I was feeling awful. I struggled into class on a Tuesday evening but was sent home, as I wasn’t with it, and I was in no state to go into class on Wednesday.

By this time, I had emailed the surgery, mentioning the side effects and how badly they were affecting me. Sadly, I missed two calls from the pharmacist, but the next morning, I received an email telling me to stop taking the meds.

This was a huge relief, as things didn’t feel like I was improving, and I was worried about my hands, which had been feeling incredibly cold, which can be a side effect of the medication, made worse by me playing on the PC. I had given myself chilblains on my right hand due to my use of the mouse and the rear of the pc, ejecting the cold air, which was bouncing off of the wall and being directed by my speakers onto my hand.

This brings up the question. Was it the cold air and temperatures that were causing the issues with my hands, or was the medication involved, which can cause the blood vessels to contract, making things worse?

Of course, it was much better to be cautious and the medication had shown no sign of working, so I am convinced that it was the right thing to do.

I was a little worried that I would have withdrawal symptoms but fortunately, if I did, they were minor.

From there I then had to decide what to do next. But that will come in the next update.